INSTRUCTIVE CODE ... :: Genealogy
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Journal by janilye


1. Let every wife be persuaded that there are two ways of governing a family; the first is by the expression of that will which belongs to force; the second by the power of mildness, to which even strength will yield. One is the power of the husband; a wife should never employ any other arms than gentleness. When a woman accustoms herself to say I will, she deserves to lose her empire.

2. Avoid contradicting your husband. When we smell at a rose, it is to imbibe the sweetness of its odour: we likewise look for every thing that is amiable from women. Whoever is often contradicted feels insensibly an aversion for the person who contradicts, which gains strength by time, and, whatever be her good
qualities, is not easily destroyed.

3.Occupy yourself only with household affairs. Wait till your husband confides to you affairs of higher importance, and do not give your advice till he asks it.
4.Never take upon, yourself to be a censor of your husband's morals, and do not read lectures to him. Let your preaching be a good example, and practice virtue yourself to make him in love with it.

5.Command his attentions by being always attentive to him; never exact any thing,
and you will obtain much; appear always flattered by the little he does for you,
which will excite him to perform more.

6.All men are vain ; never wound his vanity, not even in the most trifling instances.
A wife may have more sense than her husband, but she' should never seem to know it.

7.When a man gives wrong counsel, never make him feel that, he has done so, but lead him on by degrees to what is rational, with mildness and gentleness; when he is convinced,
leave him all the merit of having found out what was just and reasonable.

8.When a husband is out of temper, behave obligingly to him; if he is abusive, never retort;
and never prevail over him to humble him.

9.Choose well your female friends: have but few, and be careful of following their advice in all matters.

10. Cherish neatness without luxury, and pleasure without excess; dress with taste,
and particularly with modesty; vary the fashions of your dress, especially in regard to colours.
It gives a change to the ideas, and recalls pleasing recollections. Such things may appear trifling, but they are of more importance than is imagined.

11.Never be, - curious to pry into your husband's concerns, but obtain his confidence
by that which, at all times, you repose in him. Always preserve order and economy;
avoid being out of temper, and be careful never to scold.
By these means he will find his own house more pleasant than any other.

12. Seem always to obtain information from him, especially before company,
though you may pass yourself for a simpleton. Never forget that a wife owes all her importance
to that of her husband; Leave him entirely master of his actions, to go or come whenever he thinks fit.
A wife ought to make her company so amiable to her husband that he could not exist without it;
then he will not seek for any pleasure abroad if she does not partake of it with him.

transcribed from The Australian (Sydney, NSW : 1824 - 1848) issue Friday 1 August 1828, by janilye on the 29 January 2012

Still happily living by the code in 1900 in Dungog, New South Wales just as her mother and grandmother did.

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by janilye Profile | Research | Contact | Subscribe | Block this user
on 2012-01-28 22:45:50

janilye - 7th generation, Convict stock. Born in New South Wales now living in Victoria, carrying, with pride 'The Birthstain'.

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by ngairedith on 2012-01-29 03:16:03

by ngairedith on 2012-01-29 03:17:53

just testing, I've tried a dozen times to add a comment to this and it just won't go - keeps saying "On Noes"
Must be something in my words that security doesn't like :(

by janilye on 2012-01-29 04:08:23

Don't tell me you disapprove of 'The Instructive Code'

by tonkin on 2012-01-29 04:30:43

You take a great photo Janilye.

by janilye on 2012-01-29 04:46:20

Thanks Tonkin, I like to look my best to keep my husband in an amiable mood. I can't have him seeking pleasures abroad.

by 1bobbylee on 2012-01-29 14:00:33

Your children are lovely Jan. Just look at that beautiful home. See how much your husband loves you. By allowing him 'The Instructive Code, He has even built you a lovely sun room conventiently located by your door. It doesn't matter that he is unskilled in carpentry. To him, It's the thought that really matters. Don't worry about the leaking sun room roof. He will only have you and the kids there when the sun is shining brightly. You are so blessed!

by janilye on 2012-01-29 23:12:14

I can tell you're a champion of the code Bobbylee. Don't let Mrs. Lee hear you or she'll smack you round the ears with her skillet and disconnect your wireless.

by 1bobbylee on 2012-01-30 01:33:14

Yes, I will speak softly, walk softly, and carry a big stick. If you saw Mrs. Lee you would understand why. Oh me! My heart just jumped! I thought I heard her wide large nostrils breathing over my shoulder. I'm scared; but possibly to save my life
I may have to put code # 8 in action. I am really a peaceful man and I hurt when I get beat up. What happened to the 'good ole days?' We have to pinch our pennies. I am thinking of entering her in a bare knuckle fight at the pub. I will bet on her!!!

by 1bobbylee on 2012-01-30 12:42:37

Oh yes, I almost forgot. If you would like to bet on bare knuckle fight at the pub, I will give you a tip. Bet on her!!!

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