allycat on Family Tree Circles
Journals and Posts
Category: The Lighter Side of Life
The Name Origin Calculometer - The Genealogue
INSTRUCTIONS: Type the surname you are researching, then click the button "Get the Origin of This Name!"
Dear FamilyTreeCircle members, With Christmas approaching I thought I'd share this little gem with you...
"The Twelve Days of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Twelve census searches
Eleven family bibles
Ten e-mail contacts
Nine headstone rubbings
Eight wills and admons
Seven miners mining
Six second cousins
Five coats of arms
Four GEDCOM files
Three old wills
And a branch in my family tree.
1 Thou shalt name your male children: James, John, Joseph, Josiah, Abel, Richard, Thomas, Stephen, William.
2 Thou shalt name your female children: Elizabeth, Mary, Martha, Sarah, Phoebe.
3 Thou shalt leave no trace of your female children.
4 Thou shalt, after naming your children from the above lists, call them by strange nicknames such as: Ike, Eli, Polly, Dolly, Sukey, Lizzie, thereby making them difficult to trace.
5 Thou shalt not use any middle names on any legal documents or census reports and only where necessary, may you use [ONLY] initials on legal documents.
6 Thou shalt learn to sign all legal documents illegibly so that your surname can be spelled. or misspelled, in various ways: Keech, Keach,Keechee, Ketch, etc.
7 Thou shalt, after no more than three Generations, make sure that all family records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, or buried so that NO future trace of them can be found.
8 Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, vague innuendo regarding your place of origination: England, Scotland, Wales or Netherlands. Descended from one of the three brothers that came from...
9 Thou shalt leave no cemetery records or headstones with legible names.
10 Thou shalt leave no family Bible with records of births, marriages or deaths.
11 Thou shalt ALWAYS flip thy name around. If born "James Albert" thou must make all the rest of your records in the names of Albert, AJ, JA, AL, Bert, Bart, or Alfred.
12 Thou shalt also flip thy parents names when making reference to them, although 'UNKNOWN" or a blank is an acceptable alternative.
13 Thou shalt name at least five Generations of males, and dozens of their cousins, with identical names in order to totally confuse researchers!!
..7 Word Obituary..
A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.
She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"
Dear FamilyTreeCircle Members, If you want to have a break from serious stuff like genealogy, then have a look at a silly and fun website...Just click on the answers to find your Viking Name. Mine was Halla Shadowsbane. Cool.
The Quarter - What's YOUR Viking Name?
Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.
The document containing evidence of the missing link in your research invariably will be lost due to fire, flood, or war.
The keeper of the vital records you need will just have been insulted by another genealogist.
Your great, great grandfather's obituary states that he died leaving no issue of record.
The town clerk you wrote in desperation, and finally convinced to give to you the information you need, can't write legibly, and doesn't have a copying machine.
The will you need is in the safe on board the "Titanic."
The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation.
That ancient photograph of four relatives, one of whom is your progenitor, carries the names of the other three.
Copies of old newspapers have holes which only occur on last names.
No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, always rented property, was never sued, and was never named in wills.
You learned that great aunt Matilda's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in New York City."
Yours is the ONLY last name not found among the three billion in the world-famous Mormon archives in Salt Lake City.
Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded.
The 37-volume, sixteen-thousand-page history of your county of origin isn't indexed.
The critical link in your family tree is named "Smith."
Website of interest:-
Genealogy to Adam and Eve and the British Royal Family
WARNING: Very contagious to adults.
SYMPTOMS: Continual complaint as to need for names, dates, and places. Patient has a blank expression, sometimes deaf to spouse and children. Has no taste for work of any kind, except feverishly looking through records at libraries and courthouses. Has compulsion to write letters. Swears at mailman when he doesn't leave mail. Frequents places such as cemeteries; ruins; and remote, desolate country areas. Makes secret night calls, hides phone bills from spouse, and mumbles to self. Has a strange, faraway look in eyes.
NO KNOWN CURE.
TREATMENT: Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets progressively worse. Patient should attend genealogy workshops, subscribe to genealogical magazines, and be given a quiet corner in the house where he or she can be alone.
REMARKS: The unusual nature of this disease is -- the sicker the patient gets, the more he or she enjoys it!