azsunbird2010 on Family Tree Circles

My great-grandmother Dezina Whittle Sandlin's parents have proved to be quite a mystery to me. My mother's story is that Dezina's mother was a Noe who met and married Whittle in South Carolina and moved to Alabama prior to the War Between the States, aka, The Civil War. They had two daughters, Nancy and Dezina. Whittle died in battle. Noe married a widower, Bullard and had a daughter by him, Mary. Bullard died and she then married a man named Gilbert and they had a son named Alexander. My grandfather, Hardy M. Sandlin, described his mother as the third born of six children and said her father was killed during the War Between the States. Records proved my mother's story to be completely inaccurate.


In the 1860 census from Lamar Co. AL I found Dezina(b. 1854) living with Alexander and Margaret Gilbert (b. 1830) along with children Mary (b. 1848), Nancy (b.1852), Thomas (b.1858), and John (b. 1859).
Alexander Gilbert Sr. was killed in 1862 during a battle at Corinth MS.


In the 1870 census I found Alexander Gilbert (b. 1862) living with his mother, Margaret and siblings Joseph (b.1849), Nancy, Dezina (b, Thomas, and John. No clue if Joseph was a Bullard or a Gilbert or a Whittle.


In the 1880 census I found Alexander living with his mother Margaret so she was still using that name 18 years after Alexander Sr. died.


Therein lies many problems. If the names are correct, Dezina's mother would have been married to Bullard first. I found at Family Search a Mary Bullard born in 1848 whose parents were listed as George and Nancy Bullard.


Margaret was married to Gilbert during the Civil War and he was killed during the war, therefore she couldn't have married the men in the order my mother had them listed.


Dezina was using the name Whittle when she married my great-grandfather, Harmon Sandlin. Their marriage license shows they were married in the home of Nancy Gilbert in 1872. When Dezina's sister Nancy married, she also used the name Whittle.


To add another twist, I found via Find-A-Grave, Nancey Margrett Noe Gilbert 1820-1888 buried in Wesley Chapel Cemetery in Detroit AL. It is enough to drive me mad.


I tried to order Dezina's death certificate, but the State of AL couldn't find one. I ordered Alexander Gilbert's death certificate but his son gave them no information about his grandparents, Alexander and Margaret. Does anyone have any suggestions? I mean other than to give up?